


How Do I Get Over This?

by Saturn_Thrymr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, F/F, Fluff, M/M, My First Fanfic, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2020-12-20 19:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21061628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturn_Thrymr/pseuds/Saturn_Thrymr
Summary: So, basically, this is my first fanfic, so it won't be too great, but after winning the game, Dave and Karkat start dating, but Dirk kills himself eventually. Dave is sent into a spiral of depression and yeah, that's pretty much what happens.





	1. Prologue

Dave was feeling a sense of elation, as was everyone else. They had won the game, beaten Noir, all three forms of him, and Vriska with her army of ghosts was somewhere in the Outer Rim, presumably killing the Lord of Time, English himself. He couldn't think of anything that could go wrong.

KARKAT: UMM...DAVE?

DAVE: hey whats up?

KARKAT: WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU, BEFORE I...FORGET OR SOMETHING...

Dave realized that something was strange about Karkat's behavior. It was quite a bit less confident, almost bordering on embaressed. He looked down from the Genesis Frog to look at Karkat, and found that he was actually blushing, his cheeks were a bright cherry red, his eyes slightly downcast.

DAVE: dude what's wrong?

KARKAT: WELL...I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT WITH ALL THAT TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER ON THE METEOR, I'VE BEEN FEELING SOME CERTAIN FEELINGS FOR YOU THAT WOULD FALL INTO MATESPRITESHIP...

DAVE: karkat?

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: just shut up and kiss me already

He didn't give Karkat time to react, instead just turning to him, pulling him to himself, and pressing his lips against Karkat's, cutting off whatever response that Karkat was preparing. Not that he minded, of course, eventually putting his arms around Dave and kissing back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is my first fanfiction I've made, and don't worry, I will upload more as quickly as I can while preserving what little quality there is. Thank you so much for reading.  
(Also, I will try to fix Dave's talking thing at some point when I'm less busy.)


	2. Life Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's five years later on Earth C, and Dave and Karkat are in a steady relationship.

5 Years Later:

KARKAT: DAVE! SOMEONE WANTS YOU!

DAVE: who is it

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW BUT THEY'RE STARTING TO GET IMPATIENT!

DAVE: well tell them they can fuckin wait because im in the shower

KARKAT: I TOLD THEM AND THEY DON'T SEEM TO CARE.

DAVE: how about you ask them who they are

KARKAT: OH. NEVERMIND. IT'S NOT ACTUALLY IMPORTANT AT ALL. IT'S ROSE AND KANAYA'S LITTLE GRUBS.

DAVE: can you not tell the difference between a couple of toddlers and someone who might actually have something to say other than random strings of vowels

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: THEY'RE VERY CONVINCING...

DAVE: no theyre not

DAVE: they arent even two years old yet

KARKAT: SHUT UP.

DAVE: nah

As it is, he did shut up. Long enough for him to grab the little box he'd gotten a couple days before and stuff it in his pocket after he gotten his clothes on. He left the bathroom and grabbed Karkat's hand, pulling him out the door.

KARKAT: WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE YOU TAKING ME?!?!

DAVE: calm down were just going to the garden

KARKAT: WHY ARE WE GOING THERE?

DAVE: because its a nice day and youve been cooped up in that house for the past two months there have been some new additions to the garden and were going to see them

DAVE: do you have a problem with that

KARKAT: NO I'M JUST CONFUSED AS TO WHY YOU'RE DRAGGING ME OUT HERE

DAVE: oh im sorry

Dave let go of Karkat's hand, and ran off to the large garden that was build in the middle of the Troll Kingdom, leaving Karkat tripping over his own feet. He ran after him, not being able to resist a small laugh as he did so.

DAVE: took you long enough

KARKAT: (panting heavily) I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HERE QUICKER HAD YOU GIVEN ME A LITTLE WARNING BEFORE JUST SPRINTING OFF.

DAVE: hey chill

KARKAT: HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM AFTER WHAT YOU JUST PULLED?

DAVE: i know you enjoyed it

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: YEAH, I DID.

DAVE: come on lets see the new additions

He gave Karkat a quick kiss before walking off on a new path Karkat didn't remember being there before. He followed, catching up to Dave.

KARKAT: SO WHAT IN THIS SUPPOSED NEW PART?

DAVE: you'll see

KARKAT: CAN'T YOU TELL ME?

DAVE: that would ruin the surprise

KARKAT: SO IT'S A SURPRISE NOW?

DAVE: it always was i just didnt tell you

KARKAT: THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE LIKE THAT SURPRISE WRIGGLING DAY PARTY. THAT DIDN'T GO SO WELL...

DAVE: dont worry there wont be any puppet ass involved

They walked for a while more, exchanging a bit of banter and comments about the addition to the garden. Eventually, they got to a small clearing with trees surrounding the empty space. Dave stopped walking and turned to Karkat.

DAVE: so...theres something ive been planning to ask you for a while...

KARKAT: OKAY...

DAVE: and im gonna be honest im kind of nervous here

KARKAT: DAVE. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Dave reached into his pocket and took out the little box he had been keeping there. He took off his sunglasses and dropped to one knee, opening the box.

DAVE: karkat...will you marry me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to get out, I was busy with more important things and didn't have time to make any progress. I'm hoping to get into more regular updates soon, though!


	3. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk kills himself right before Dave and Karkat are going to tell everyone they're engaged.

DAVE: karkat can you get the phone

KARKAT: SURE.

KARAKT: IT'S ROSE. SHE CALLED TO SAY THAT SHE'LL BE THERE WITH KANAYA AND THE TWINS.

DAVE: okay

DAVE: do they know what time to be there

KARKAT: WHY WOULDN'T THEY? LITERALLY EVERYONE GOT AN INVITATION, WHICH CLEARLY STATES WHEN AND WHERE TO BE.

DAVE: what

KARKAT: YEAH. I SENT OUT INVITATIONS YESTERDAY.

DAVE: i didnt finish printing all of them yet because the printer jammed

KARKAT: OH. WELL ARE THEY DONE NOW?

DAVE: yeah but now-

KARKAT: WE'LL JUST SEND THEM OUT TODAY. THIS ISN'T HAPPENING FOR ANOTHER FEW DAYS.

KARKAT: WHO DO WE STILL HAVE TO DELIVER THEM TO?

DAVE: lets see...it looks like dirk jake and terezi still need them

KARKAT: I'LL TRANSPORTALIZE THEM LATER TODAY. MOST OF THE SERVERS ARE BUSY RIGHT NOW, AND YOU KNOW HOW UNRELIABLE THEY ARE WHEN THEY'RE THAT BUSY.

DAVE: yeah no shit

DAVE: getting to john and roxy's wedding was chaotic because of how many people were going

Their phone started ringing again. Dave grabbed it.

KARKAT: WHO IS IT?

DAVE: jake...

KARKAT: OH. WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO SAY?

DAVE: oh no...

He ran out the door and flew off to Dirk and Jake's house. Karkat picked up the phone.

KARKAT: JAKE. WHAT'S GOING ON?!

JAKE: Its dirk. He...he killed himself...

KARKAT: OH SHIT...JAKE I'M SO SORRY.

JAKE: Can you get over here? Please?

KARKAT: YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE.

Karkat went out the door, and ran right to the nearest street corner, pulling out his wallet as he did so, digging out enough boondollars for a ride to Jake and Dirk's house. He signaled for a taxi and went on his way.

When Karkat arrived, he noticed Roxy and Rose walking inside. He followed them in.

JAKE: H-hi karkat. Im glad you could, that you could...

KARKAT: I KNOW. THANK YOU.

As he entered the main living area, Karkat sat down with Dave, who was sitting on his own with his head in his hands. He put his arm around Dave and help him close. When everyone was situated, Jake came into the room.

JAKE: Im sure by now youve all heard what....what happened. But...in case someone hasnt...dirk...he...

Jake faltered, and sat down, trying to contain himself. After a couple breaths, he continued.

JAKE: He killed himself. He...he left a few notes for everyone.

JAKE: Theyre on...on the...

He broke down again.

ROSE: It's okay, Jake. You don't need to continue.

They finished up, and after a bit of time, everyone left, except for Dave and Karkat.

DAVE: jake...can i...see him

JAKE: Of course. Hes in his...his room.

DAVE: okay

KARKAT: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU?

DAVE: ill be fine

He gave karkat a sad smile before standing up and leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for how long it took to post this. Life can get in the way of many things, including badly written fanfics. However, I've started devoting more and more time to this work, so I'll do my best to have an update every couple weeks or so. This is still incredibly new to me, though, and if you enjoy this for some reason, and want to see where it goes, then please have a little patience. Thank you!
> 
> You can expect the next update to be posted by June 20th.


	4. Comforting Presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat are at home the next day, Dave thinking about Dirk and Karkat doing his best to comfort him.

The next day:

Dave and Karkat were sitting together on their couch at home. Dave, trying his best to hold his emotions in, and Karkat trying to console him.

KARKAT: DO YOU...WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

DAVE: yeah actually

He took in a deep breath, as if to compose himself before starting.

DAVE: my relationship with bro wasnt the best he was honestly a really shitty guardian

DAVE: he was rarely home and when he was the two of us would be on the rooftop doing training every fucking day since i came crashing down to earth on a meteor and he adopted me

DAVE: i dont remember much from when i was younger but i think that one time when i was like a few months old he threw me towards the edge of the roof but instead of flying off the top of the building like he probably expected i just hit the roof really hard because i guess he missed

DAVE: i have no idea how long i must have been in the hospital for that but i couldve died right then and there

DAVE: i brought it up with him when i was like seven years old and he flipped his shit hitting me over and over again until i was a crying bloody mess on the floor and then he just got up and said that if i didnt shut up then and there hed do it again

DAVE: that was the first beating id gotten and they didnt get any better from there

DAVE: after that i spent pretty much every waking hour trying to please him because otherwise hed beat my ass again

DAVE: i didnt know that this wasnt normal until i met rose john and jade but even then i was scared to tell them what i went through every day

DAVE: i thought that bro would find out and kill me if someone found out what he was doing to me

DAVE: guess who put that fucking idea in my head

Karkat scooted closer to Dave and held him tighter.

DAVE: and then there was the issue of food

DAVE: there wasnt much food despite bro being fucking rich from puppet porn or some shit like that

DAVE: and he wouldnt let me have any if i didnt reach his standards for that day so i went for several days on end with pretty much no food at all until he saw i was starving and decided that dealing with my dead body would be too much of a pain

DAVE: then i started playing sburb

DAVE: i didnt see him for a while after that and when i did it was because he was dead

DAVE: jack had killed him

DAVE: it wasnt real for me at first because i had always seen him as being unbeatable

DAVE: and when it finally settled in that he was really gone i didnt really know what to do

DAVE: my whole life was spent trying to please him and with him gone there was no motivation for me to do much of anything

DAVE: i snapped out of it eventually and didnt think about him again until we found out that the new session would involve meeting our biological parents from when they were younger

DAVE: that brought out a whole onslaught of bad memories and i kept locked up in my room on the meteor for a while just stressing out about it

DAVE: it wasnt as bad as i was anticipating though and dirk was actually pretty cool

DAVE: neither of us had really had a normal childhood but we kind of tried to relive what we never had

DAVE: of course when we both got involved in our own separate relationships we didnt hang out as much but we still talked for a while

DAVE: then...this happened

Dave didn't even bother to try and contain his emotions anymore and just sat there sobbing. Karkat, at a bit of a loss for words, wrapped his other arm around Dave and held him close. Dave wiped his eyes, and continued.

DAVE: he didnt even leave anything saying why he did it and that just makes it even worse

KARKAT: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU KNOW. YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: SO PLEASE DON'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS BECAUSE...

DAVE: karkat

KARKAT: ...YOU WERE WRAPPED UP WITH OTHER THINGS, SPECIFICALLY...

DAVE: karkat please shut up im not blaming myself for this

KARKAT: ...OUR...OH.

DAVE: yes im torn up because dirk meant a lot to me but no im not thinking that i did something to drive him to kill himself

DAVE: what do you think i am some sort of cliche drama character

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: i appreciate that you care though

KARKAT: OF COURSE I FUCKING CARE, HOW COULD I NOT?!?!

DAVE: thats...thats not what i meant...

KARKAT: OH. FUCK.

DAVE: your little bursts of anger are adorable though

KARKAT: ADORABLE?

DAVE: oh right im sorry i mean *ahem* adorabloodthirsty

KARKAT: WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!

DAVE: im not telling

KARKAT: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT TELLING?

DAVE: well...if you insist...terezi told me

KARKAT: THAT...THAT'S EMBARRASSING.

DAVE: come on ill get some ice cream and we can watch a movie

KARKAT: HMPH.

DAVE: and karkat...

KARKAT: YEAH?

DAVE: thank you

DAVE: it really helped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be the first to admit that this took much longer than expected to be posted. I'm afraid that I am completely at fault here, as I've had this whole thing written out already several times, yet ended up reloading the tab without saving or having a backup of the text. I apologize for this inconvenience, and will leave you with the knowledge that the next update will be by June 27th. Au revoir, mes lecteurs.


	5. What To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat goes to ask Dave what they will do about their upcoming marriage.

KARKAT: HEY! DAVE!

There was no response.

KARKAT: DAVE? WHERE ARE YOU?

Again, he didn't respond.

KARKAT: DAVE? THIS ISN'T FUNNY...

DAVE: chill dude i just woke up

KARKAT: I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO WAKE YOU UP.

DAVE: np i shouldve been up by now anyways

Karkat walked into their room, where anyone who felt the slightest attraction to the male gender wouldn't be able to do anything but stare as Dave, shirtless, was stretching as he started to get out of bed.

DAVE: what

KARKAT: OH, UH...NOTHING. I MEAN...

Karkat, still in mild shock after seeing Dave shirtless, finally collected his thoughts enough to reply.

KARKAT: WELL...ACTUALLY I HAD SOMETHING TO ASK YOU.

DAVE: oh so do i actually

KARKAT: YOU GO FIRST.

DAVE: okay so what if obama managed to get off of earth before it got hit by the meteors with some sort of secret president version of sburb

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: and he went and played the game and won

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: obama could still be alive karkat

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: DAVE. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'M GOING TO LET YOU DOWN GENTLY.

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: THAT'S A PRETTY FUCKING STUPID IDEA. WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM?

DAVE: oh right i had this weird dream where i was like older and shit and then i flew down to a weird ass building that looked suspiciously familiar

DAVE: then i saw that it was the white house so i went inside thinking that this would be fucking awesome but i got to the oval office and there was like a god tier pajama thing in there and i saw obama and i had some sort of mental breakdown for some reason and he did some sort of shit with some glowing lights that made me a fucking robot

We are all stunned by this stunning revelation that the Homestuck Epilogues had any sort of impact on this poorly written fanfic.

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: okay your turn

KARKAT: UM...WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE WITH THE WHOLE DIRK SITUATION GOING ON?

DAVE: oh right

DAVE: i guess just hold it off until we're all more situated and in a better place mentally to start preparing for something like that and announcing it

KARKAT: THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO, AND IT DOES MAKE SENSE, BUT SHOULD WE AT LEAST TELL EVERYONE THAT WE'RE ENGAGED?

DAVE: i don't know it seems a little soon you know

DAVE: we havent even had dirks funeral yet

KARKAT: SO...WE'RE GOING TO WAIT UNTIL EVERYTHING HAS GOTTEN BACK TO NORMAL?

DAVE: i dont think that were ever going to get back to normal but yeah i guess

KARKAT: WAS ANYTHING WE'VE EVER EXPERIENCED NORMAL?

DAVE: heh not really

KARKAT: IT'S DECIDED, THEN?

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: WHAT IF SOMEONE BRINGS IT UP?

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: i promise you well be fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again! Something came up in my life that requires my attention, so this work won't be updated for a while.


End file.
